Irish Golfer Digital+

Wednesday 20th February 2019

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SUBSCRIBE WEDNESDAY 20.2.19 WWW.IRISHGOLFER.IE Tiger Woods poses with J.B. Holmes during the trophy presentation at the Genesis Open at Riviera Country Club There's times when I'm probably too slow, but it is what it is. I was never on the clock. Never even got a warning. TV wants everything to be real fast all the time "Yeah, when I first got out here, I was really slow. But I've sped up quite a bit," he protested. "I've gotten better. There's times when I'm probably too slow, but it is what it is. I was never on the clock. Never even got a warning. TV wants everything to be real fast all the time." Not real fast J.B., just consum- able in under five hours; it took people watching it on repeat two and a half hours just to fast-for- ward through your pre-putting routine. The calls to end slow play are nothing new but these recent cries of shame come at a time where all roads are supposedly meant to lead to the modernising of our game. If Premier League fixtures extended themselves by another 90 minutes, few would suffer the theatrics, not least the snowflakes and their cramps. The only reason the cricketers get away with it is because break- fast, morning tea, brunch, lunch, dinner, supper and a midnight snack fuel the daily schedule. We can't allow golf to fall down a similar path. Thankfully Holmes seems to be in the minority when it comes to ridding the game of slow play but if you believe Brooks Koepka, and you should, then the only way we'll ever see changes in this regard is if the book falls from on high upon the heads of those unwilling to embrace speed. "It is frustrating," said Koepka. "There's a lot of slow players, a lot of them are the very good players, too, which is kind of the problem. "I think it's weird how we have rules where we have to make sure it's dropping from knee height or the caddie can't be behind you and then they also have a rule where you have to hit it in 40 seconds but that one's not enforced. You enforce some but you don't enforce the others. "Slow players are breaking the rules but no one ever has the balls to actually penalise them!" Perched atop the bar-stool at the Ferryman pub after the Brian Cox talk, we mulled the scientific creation story imparted to us that night stating 'we are the products of 13.7 billion years of cosmic evolution and the mechanism by which meaning entered the universe, if only for a fleeting moment in time'. For what it's worth, J.B. Holmes insists it was longer.

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